pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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