is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
