just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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