i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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