quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
