So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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