I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
