do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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