I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
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I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
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the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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