Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
