I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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