haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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