Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
