Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
