You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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