Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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