I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
