how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
