I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
