Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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