Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
