sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
