I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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