I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
