So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
