there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All the doctor said was why
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize