do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
