this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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