it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
