Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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