would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
