Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
