her vagine was all disorganized.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
