He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
