$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
