OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
What did we do last night that was yellow?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
