now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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