you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just pee around me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
