I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
