Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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