Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you will always have a special place in my vag
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
