Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
