Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
So. Much. Porn.
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