Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
