Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
