Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
