the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
