worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
