how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
