Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
