Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize