I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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