Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
