That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We're not piercing ourselves today.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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