why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
