Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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