i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I am one with the molecules
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
