You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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