How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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