no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
