I have demons in me.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
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Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
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can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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