your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I showed him my bush... on skype.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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