So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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