PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
