I wish I could punch you in the face.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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